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July 15, 2012
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put me under, cover my face, stuff my lungs with your chemical lies.

if they were to take me apart,
slice open my chest,
peel back the skin keeping me whole,
they would find:

a. one heart, slowly ticking.
(they would not find anything,
but they would have to say they did.
after all, girls can't live without a heart.
they forget that i'm not the first:
a score of girls walking even though
they should have faded long ago.)

b. each rib curved so perfectly,
a shield around my lungs.
(a cage, keeping my breath from bursting
out of my skin. know that this is just me,
held together by nature,
unable to lose control of myself.)

c. two sacs of cells, nestled beside each other.
(no first-hand smoke here, no sir.
only second-hand dust, only
things i could not get rid of,
only bits of places i've been,
caught in my body.
postcards of memories i can't see.)

d. a skeleton, still and alive.
(sleeping, with blood cells being produced
in the hollows of my curves.
the rattling of my bones cannot be heard,
but if it could, my skeleton would tell you
all my secrets. it would beg you,
please don't leave me.
i never fought the monsters under my bed,
i just turned them into the skeletons in my closet,
the skeletons i wear inside of my body.)
just for the record, i know biopsies aren't done on the whole body.



i've been neglecting you guys terribly.
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:iconwallabiesarechipper1:
Very clever and meaningful this is.
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:iconjadite:
thank you. (:
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:iconmarianweaver:
MarianWeaver Aug 14, 2012  Professional Writer
This is marvellous! It never descends into sentimentality, but there's such a depth of feeling here. I love the structure, as though this is an autopsy report rather than a poem.

i never fought the monsters under my bed,
i just turned them into the skeletons in my closet,


This couplet in particular is so striking - the metaphors should clash, but instead they make a terrible kind of sense. Very sophisticated.


:blackrose:
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:iconjadite:
i am very glad you enjoyed this. (: thank you so much for your kind words.
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:iconscribblingnooly:
scribblingnooly Aug 13, 2012  Professional
A poignant, beautiful and wonderfully structured piece.
Reply
:iconjadite:
thank you so much. (:
Reply
:iconarabesque-o:
arabesque-o Jul 26, 2012  Student Photographer
i'va fallen for the last 3 lines of this<3
(does it seem creepy that i could help but whisper this out loud, because something this good shouldn't just populate my dusty monitor?)
Reply
:iconjadite:
thank youuu. <3
(nope. not at all. xD)
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:iconl0ne-w0lf:
Wow I absolutely love:

"only second-hand dust, only
things i could not get rid of,"

and

"i just turned them into the skeletons in my closet,
the skeletons i wear inside of my body.)"


A very thoughtful and creative piece.
Reply
:iconjadite:
aw, thank you. i appreciate your kind comment. <3
Reply
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